by JAMES TARANTO
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 2:49 P.M. EDT

Editor's note: We're on assignment, so our column will not appear tomorrow. We'll be back Thursday.

Larry Craig and Liberal Compassion
Another Republican lawmaker has been caught with his pants down. Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho "was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men's public restroom," Roll Call reports:

Craig's arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On Aug. 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8.

A spokesman for Craig described the incident as a "he said/he said misunderstanding," and said the office would release a fuller statement later Monday afternoon.

Here's that statement, in its entirety:

"At the time of this incident, I complained to the police that they were misconstruing my actions. I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct.

"I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter. In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously."

In the arrest report, Sgt. David Karsnia writes that at about noon, he stationed himself in a toilet stall:

At 1213 hours, I could see an older white male with grey hair standing outside my stall. . . . That male was later identified . . . as Larry Edwin Craig. . . . I could see Craig look through the crack in the door from his position. Craig would look down at his hands, "fidget" with his fingers, and then look through the crack into my stall again. Craig would repeat this cycle for about two minutes. . . .

At 1215 hours, the male in the stall to the left of me flushed the toilet and exited the stall. Craig entered the stall and placed his roller bag against the front of the stall door. My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall. From my seated position, I could observe the shoes and ankles of Craig seated to the left of me. . . . At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. . . .

At 1217 hours, I saw Craig swipe his hand under the stall divider for a few seconds. . . . At about 1219 hours, I held my Police Identification in my right hand down by the floor so that Craig could see it. With my left hand near the floor, I pointed toward the exit. Craig responded, "No!"

The senator finally came out of the water closet and was arrested. According to Sgt. Karsnia's report, Craig claimed "that he has a wide stance when going to the bathroom and that his foot may have touched mine" and that "he reached down with his right hand to pick up a piece of paper. . . . It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor."

Craig's sexual orientation has long been the subject of rumors in Washington. Last year, during the Mark Foley scandal, a gay blogger "outed" him--i.e., purportedly exposed him as a closeted homosexual. Even more odd, in 1982, when an earlier scandal involving sex between congressmen and underage pages erupted, Craig, then a freshman House member, took to the airwaves and issued a pre-emptive denial. YouTube has reports from back then from both ABC and NBC.

(That early-'80s scandal was both bisexual and bipartisan. In 1983 the House censured Rep. Dan Crane, an Illinois Republican, and Rep. Gerry Studds, a Massachusetts Democrat, after they admitted having sexual relations with a female page and a male one, respectively. Crane was defeated for re-election in 1984; Studds was re-elected six more times, retired in 1997, and died last year. No charges ever emerged against Craig in the 1980s page scandal.)

Last year's outing prompted the Idaho Statesman, a Boise paper, to conduct an extensive investigation into whether Craig had engaged in homosexual acts, something he flatly denied in a May interview with the paper. The Statesman was unable to substantiate the claims of homosexuality, so it withheld the story--until today, when, with the arrest as a news peg, it published nearly 4,000 words on the subject.

The Craig conviction has, predictably enough, prompted mortification on the right and Schadenfreude on the left. The latter is an easy-to-understand partisan/ideological temptation, especially given the comical aspects of this story. It is physically impossible to keep a straight face while thinking about the "wide stance" defense.

That said, we'd like to step back and, without drawing any conclusions about Craig beyond what is on the public record, make a case more generally for liberal compassion toward closeted homosexual politicians who oppose gay rights.

The liberal view of homosexuality is based on two claims: an empirical one and a moral one. The empirical claim is that sexual orientation is inborn, a trait over which one has no control. The moral claim is that homosexuality is no better or worse than heterosexuality; that a gay relationship, like a traditional marriage, can be an expression of true love and a source of deep fulfillment. Out of these claims flows the conclusion that opposition to gay rights is akin to racism: an unwarranted prejudice against people for a trait over which they have no control.

For the sake of argument, suppose this liberal view is true. What does it imply about the closeted homosexual who takes antigay positions? To our mind, the implication is that he is a deeply tragic figure, an abject victim of society's prejudices, which he has internalized and turned against himself. "Outing" him seems an act of gratuitous cruelty, not to mention hypocrisy if one also claims to believe in the right to privacy.

According to the Statesman, the blogger who "outed" Craig did so in order to "nail a hypocritical Republican foe of gay rights." But there is nothing hypocritical about someone who is homosexual, believes homosexuality is wrong, and keeps his homosexuality under wraps. To the contrary, he is acting consistent with his beliefs. If he has furtive encounters in men's rooms, that is an act of weakness, not hypocrisy.

Defenders of "outing" politicians argue that the cruelty is not gratuitous--that politicians are in a position of power, which they are using to harm gay citizens, and therefore their private lives are fair game. But if the politician in question is a mere legislator, his power consists only of the ability to cast one vote among hundreds. The actual amount of harm that he is able to inflict is minimal.

Anyway, most lawmakers who oppose gay-rights measures are not homosexual. To single out those who are for special vituperation is itself a form of antigay prejudice. Liberals pride themselves on their compassion, but often are unwilling to extend it to those with whose politics they disagree.

The Upside of Hamas
The Associated Press reports some surprisingly good news from the erstwhile terror haven of Jenin:

Palestinian police rescued an Israeli soldier Monday after he mistakenly drove into this West Bank town and was surrounded by a mob that later burned his car. Israel praised the rescue as a sign of the growing strength of Palestinian moderates.

Three policemen spotted the Israeli military officer inside the car and escorted him through the mob before taking him to their headquarters, police said. The soldier suffered no injuries and was handed over to Israeli troops. . . .

The rescue was a sharp contrast to seven years ago when two Israeli army reservists strayed into the West Bank city of Ramallah. They were captured by Palestinian police, who took them to a police station. A mob stormed the station and killed the two, throwing one body from a second story window as news photographers took pictures.

That incident, known to shocked Israelis as "the lynching," set the tone for violence and suspicion that has continued ever since.

This latest incident is only an anecdote, not yet a trend; but it may signify that the rise of Hamas is actually forcing "moderate" Palestinians to behave moderately, because accommodating Israel is their only hope for survival.

Lemon Soufflé
Agence France-Presse profiles Iranian nutjob Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and to call this a puff piece would be to put it kindly:

Better known for his defiance on Iran's nuclear programme, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on Tuesday revealed he was a handy cook who prepares "delicious" food and regrets not spending more time at home.

In a television interview aimed at showing his personal side, Ahmadinejad made no mention of Iran's disputes with the West and instead portrayed himself as a hardworking husband who only leaves his job in the small hours.

"Before (I became president) I used to do the grocery shopping. Now sometimes I help in the kitchen and I know how to make all the Iranian food," Ahmadinejad said.

Pressed by the interviewer for more details, Ahmadinejad continued in typically defiant fashion.

"Of course what I make is delicious--ask everyone who has eaten it! I can make all the different kinds of soups and Iranian stews," said the president.

Wait, it gets better. Quoth AFP: "While sparking international controversy for comments predicting that Israel is doomed to disappear, Ahmadinejad has also sought to cultivate an image as a simple peace-loving man who offers friendship to everyone."

What Ahmadinejad said was, "Israel must be wiped off the map." That's a prediction?

Reliable Sources
From the Associated Press:

Galina Dzhugashvili, a granddaughter of Soviet dictator Josef Stalin whose father met a mysterious death at a Nazi camp, has died in Moscow, a hospital official said today. She was 69.

Dzhugashvili died last night at Burdenko military hospital after a prolonged illness, said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to give her name to the media.

Apparently her name was the only thing the official wasn't authorized to give to the media.

Life Imitates the Movies

• "You've proved to me that all this ultra-violence and killing is wrong, wrong, and terribly wrong. I've learned my lesson, sir. I see now what I've never seen before. I'm cured, praise God! . . . I see that it's wrong! It's wrong because it's like against society. It's wrong because everybody has the right to live and be happy without being tolchocked and knifed."--Alex de Large (Malcolm McDowell) in "A Clockwork Orange," 1971
  
  
• "First, I want to apologize, you know, for all the things that--that I've done and that I have allowed to happen. . . . I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself to say the least. . . . I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up. . . . I feel like we all make mistakes. It's just I made a mistake in using bad judgment and making bad decisions. And you know, those things, you know, just can't happen. Dog fighting is a terrible thing, and I did reject it."--dogfighting conspirator and erstwhile NFL star Michael Vick, Aug. 27, 2007

'Sure, He Talks Too Much, but He's Very Loyal'
"Bush Defends Outgoing Ally"--headline, Press Association (Britain), Aug. 28

Let Them Eat Cake
"Edwards Wants Law Against 'Brownies' "--headline, Reuters, Aug. 28

World's Biggest Region
"Ethiopia Accuses Norway of 'Destablising' [sic] Region"--headline, Agence France-Presse, Aug. 28

'Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum, I Didn't Drop Those Plates!'
"Giant Lies About China"--headline, Ha'aretz, Aug. 25

Sounds Like This Place Is for the Birds
"Gul Poised to Become Turkey's President"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 28

Potatoes in Peril
"Tuber Rescued on South Platte"--headline, Denver Post, Aug. 27

Everyone's a Critic
"Man Critical After Being Shot in the Head"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Aug. 27

'To All the Girls I've Loved Before . . .'
"20 Million Risky Condoms Recalled"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 28

Breaking News From 1846
"U.S. Pulls Away to Blast Pesky Mexico"--headline, MSNBC.com, Aug. 28

News You Can Use

• "Your Parents Are Correct, Scholars Report: Studying Pays Off"--headline, Chronicle of Higher Education, Aug. 28
  
  
• "Renters Urged to Insure Personal Items"--headline, Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle, Aug. 28

Bottom Stories of the Day

• "Neighbor Who Bought Feces-Filled New Jersey Mansion Wants Out of Deal"--headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 25
  
  
• "Bill Clinton to Be Interviewed by Oprah"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 27
  
  
• "Custard Cream Voted Britain's Favorite Biscuit"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Aug. 28
  
  
• "Calgary Food Company Mislabelled Chinese Peas"--headline, CBC.ca, Aug. 27
  
  
• "Canada Downs Uruguay at FIBA"--headline, Toronto Star, Aug. 27
  
  
• "Senator Craig of Idaho Pleads Guilty to Misdemeanor"--headline, New York Sun, Aug. 28

Homer Nods Off
"A federal inspector found an armed guard asleep at a gate inside the Indian Point nuclear power plants but officials said Monday there was no security breach," the Associated Press reports from White Plains, N.Y.:

The inspector spent two minutes trying to rouse the unnamed guard Sunday afternoon before the guard "stood up and opened his eyes," said Neil Sheehan, spokesman for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

The five-year veteran was alone on the second of three security rings around the two plants in Buchanan, about 35 miles north of New York City, Sheehan said.

He said other security measures at the gate remained in operation during the guard's nap and tapes showed there was no breach, "but that doesn't make it any less serious."

A corollary of what Sheehan is saying is that it wouldn't have been any more serious if there had been a security breach. Isn't it reassuring that the security of the nation's nuclear power plants is in such capable hands?

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• Arch Puddington: Albert Shanker stood for good old-fashioned liberal ideals.