From the WSJ Opinion Archives
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"I'm too sexy for
This poll," said Tommy? Oh, right
Said Fred, not Tommy
(Earlier bye-ku: Jim Gillmore.)
Cut
and Run? Not So Fast!
For a long time, the media have presented a defeatist narrative about Iraq,
and Democratic politicians have obediently followed, demanding that America
flee immediately. Now, with a presidential election approaching and Gen. David
Petraeus's new strategy showing signs of success, a counternarrative is developing,
and the Dems are changing their tune. Consider this astonishing report from
yesterday's New York Times:
Even as they call for an end to the war and pledge to bring the troops home, the Democratic presidential candidates are setting out positions that could leave the United States engaged in Iraq for years.
John Edwards, the former North Carolina senator, would keep troops in the region to intervene in an Iraqi genocide and be prepared for military action if violence spills into other countries. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York would leave residual forces to fight terrorism and to stabilize the Kurdish region in the north. And Senator Barack Obama of Illinois would leave a military presence of as-yet unspecified size in Iraq to provide security for American personnel, fight terrorism and train Iraqis.
These positions and those of some rivals suggest that the Democratic bumper-sticker message of a quick end to the conflict--however much it appeals to primary voters--oversimplifies the problems likely to be inherited by the next commander in chief. Antiwar advocates have raised little challenge to such positions by Democrats.
What a change from January, when Mrs. Clinton, arguably the least unrealistic of the major Democratic candidates, was petulantly demanding that the president " 'extricate our country' from Iraq by the time he leaves office in 2009," as the Times put it at the time.
What about the Times's statement that "antiwar advocates have raised little challenge to such positions by Democrats"? There is certainly some truth to it. Markos "Kos" Moulitsas, the Angry Left's answer to the Htoo twins, was seen temporizing on "Meet the Press" yesterday:
We're not going to get out while we have George Bush as president. I mean, so if we say we want to be out in three months, clearly we could be out yesterday, I'd want to be out yesterday. I also understand, as a veteran who worked in logistics, that you can't pull out 150,000 troops overnight or even in three months. So, yes, there's an ideal situation, which is let's get them out as quickly as possible, so that the poll questions in that regard I think are very much moving in semantics. But I do agree with Harold [Ford] the, that we, we do need to work together, and I hope you'll be at next year's YearlyKos conference . . .
On the other hand, as blogger Jules Crittenden quips, "NYT, meet Cindy Sheehan." As the Associated Press reported, three days before that Times piece ran, Sheehan announced that she plans to run against Rep. Nancy Pelosi, the House speaker, because Pelosi has not moved to impeach the president over Iraq's liberation.
It may be said that the Times was right to ignore Sheehan. After all, she is a fringe figure, an America-hating crackpot whose race against Pelosi is utterly quixotic and futile. But all this was equally true in the summer of 2005, when Sheehan camped out in Crawford, Texas, and became a media cause célèbre by issuing a series of demands for the president of the United States.
But back then, as a journalist recently said in another context, the narrative was right, even if the facts were wrong.
Burning
Man
Yesterday a man took his own life by setting himself ablaze outside the Portsmouth
Naval Shipyard in Kittery, Maine. Another man drove past the scene with his
family and penned an account of what he saw--and what he imagined it meant--for
the Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald. The Herald published the article without revealing
the author's name. We pick up the story with the anonymous author's arrival
at home in Eliot, Maine:
Shocked, filled with disbelief, overwhelmed, we gathered for a group hug in our yard. We had witnessed a self-imposed human sacrifice. I briefly told my family the stunning scene of the Vietnamese Buddhist monk who was shown on the front pages of every major newspaper and on TV. He had performed this same sacrifice, an effort to stop the madness, the killings, the abuse in Vietnam.
Was this an effort by this buddha of Kittery to stop the madness in Iraq?
Apparently not. WMUR-TV of Manchester, N.H., reports today that the dead man has been identified as Nathan C. Gagner, 27, of Kittery. "Family and friends said that Gagner had been suffering from depression." It's a sad story, of course, but at least it won't end in American defeat the way the Vietnam one did.
Metaphor
Alert
"Representative Jane Harman, Democrat of California, said the White House 'very
skillfully played the fear card.' 'With the chatter up in August,'
Ms. Harman said, 'the issue of FISA reform got traction. Then they ran
out the clock.' "--New York Times, Aug. 11
Tongues
Untied
Last week the Democratic candidates appeared at an event in Los Angeles sponsored
by the gay-rights group Human Rights Campaign, to answer questions about gay
topics. High on the agenda, naturally, was the military's "don't ask, don't
tell" policy, codified in a law signed by President Clinton, under which homosexuals
are allowed to serve in the military only if they keep their orientation to
themselves.
A CNSNews account of the forum included this:
Sen. Barack Obama, speaking to reporters after the forum, said he would press the Joint Chiefs of Staff "to call for an end to . . . Don't Ask, Don't Tell.'" Obama mentioned that the law has cost the military Arabic linguists at a time when they are desperately needed.
Obama is speaking literally; "Arabic linguists" is not a euphemism like "Boston marriage." We've heard this complaint before, and we got to wondering: Why do proponents of gays in the military always talk about the discharge of Arab linguists as opposed to, say, infantrymen or sailors? This Associated Press dispatch from January 2005 explains the background:
The number of Arabic linguists discharged from the military for violating its "don't ask, don't tell" policy is higher than previously reported, according to records obtained by a research group.
The group contends the records show that the military--at a time when it and U.S. intelligence agencies don't have enough Arabic speakers--is putting its anti-gay stance ahead of national security.
Between 1998 and 2004, the military discharged 20 Arabic and six Farsi speakers, according to Department of Defense data obtained by the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military under a Freedom of Information Act request.
The military previously confirmed that seven translators who specialized in Arabic had been discharged between 1998 and 2003 because they were gay. The military did not break down the discharges by year, but said some, but not all, of the additional 13 discharges of Arabic speakers occurred in 2004.
We couldn't find the original study on the Web site of the Michael D. Palm Center, which "continues the work of the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military." And the AP story tells us neither how many Arabic and Farsi linguists the military employs nor how many servicemen with other responsibilities were discharged for open homosexuality.
The AP story does, however, include this:
In the fiscal year ended Sept. 30 [2004], 543 Arabic linguists and 166 Farsi linguists graduated from their 63-week courses, according to a [Defense Language Institute] spokesman. That was up from 377 and 139, respectively, in the previous year.
Let's assume the previous year's (i.e., 2002-03) figures are more representative of the period in which the discharges occurred. Still, the 26 linguists discharged over six or seven years are a mere 5% of the number of new linguists trained in a single year. Moreover, just the one-year increase in new linguists in 2003-04 is 7.4 times as many as the total number of discharges in 1998-2004. All of which suggests that the DADT-induced shortage of Arabic linguists is something less than a crisis.
It's possible that the need for Arabic and Farsi linguists is so pressing that even a relative handful are missed. But if that's the case, why doesn't Obama introduce legislation exempting linguists from the ban on open gays? This would be a practical solution targeted at the problem he professes to be concerned about, and it would have a much better chance of passing than a complete repeal.
The
Free Rider Problem
On Friday Katharine Q. Seelye of the New York Times posted this dispatch from
Iowa on the paper's Web site:
Ron Paul's supporters are actively encouraging Iowa voters to take advantage of Mitt Romney's offers of free transportation to the Iowa Straw Poll in Ames on Saturday and then, once they are there, to vote for Mr. Paul.
"Some say if Mitt is willing to bus Iowans to Ames for the straw poll, they should take him up on his offer!" says a flier in Iowa and on the Internet in advance of the straw poll for the Republican presidential candidates. The flier says that after riding the Romney bus to Ames, and allowing the Romney campaign to pay one's $35 entry fee, Iowans should then carefully weigh their options and "they may decide to vote for Ron Paul."
So how'd it work out for Paul? Although edging out the Thompson twins, he finished fifth, behind Romney, Mike Huckabee (whoever that is), Sam Brownback (whoever that is) and Tom Tancredo (whoever that is).
Maybe Paul would've attracted more voters if he threw in a free lunch.
Putting
Words in Her Mouth
Here is a bizarre passage from a column by Les Payne in Newsday (Long Island,
N.Y.):
CNN White House correspondent Suzanne Malveaux pinned back the former First Lady to explain how she could "sustain black support " while running against an African-American. Ironically, thanks to Sen. Barack Obama's mixed white and Kenyan parentage and campaign mischief, it is he who usually gets to field the "black enough" question.
Although [Hillary] Clinton moon-walked away from Malveaux's direct question, she came before the 2,700-member journalist group with her designer set of promises. As president she said she would "call for a national response" to the crisis of neglect facing young black men. As part of her Youth Opportunity Agenda, she says the initiative flows from her belief that "it takes a [white] village to raise a child."
The word white in brackets appears in Payne's column, meaning that he added it to the quote. Oddly enough, not only did Mrs. Clinton not refer to a "white village," she claims "it takes a whole village to raise a child" is an African proverb (though its actual origins are a matter of some dispute). What exactly is Payne trying to say by adding this racial modifier to her quote?
'I
Did Not Have Sexual Relations'
"Bill's Loophole Upsets Abstinence Program Backers"--headline, Washington Times,
Aug. 11
Life Imitates 'South Park'
- "Cartman's mother wants to get an abortion--eight years after conception."--episode
description, "South
Park," originally aired April 22, 1998
- "As a forensic psychologist, I have evaluated 32 mothers who were charged with killing one or more of their children. . . . 'Edna,' a college freshman, was so indecisive about ending her pregnancy that she suffocated her minutes-old baby in an act of delayed abortion."--Geoff McKee, Los Angeles Times, Aug. 13, 2007
Life Imitates the Onion
- "Factual Error Found on Internet"--headline, Onion,
May 22, 2002
- "Terror Threat Web Site Called Unreliable"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 12, 2007
'Yes
Sir, Colonel, I'll Bomb the Living Daylights Out of That Decline!'
"Major Attacks Decline in Iraq"--headline, USA Today, Aug. 13
We
Thought He Was Still Dead at 80
"Castro Still Alive at 85"--headline, Examiner (San Francisco), Aug. 9
You
Can't Make a Half Windsor With Ground Chuck
"Bush, Sarkozy Promote Ties Over Burgers"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 11
Anyone
Got a Screwdriver?
"Iraqi Leader Looks to Fix His Cabinet"--headline, Chicago Tribune, Aug. 13
And
Here We Thought It Was the Buggles
"Saudi Arabia Makes First Music Video"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 13
Don't
Bring a Peanut to a Cashew Fight
"Cashews More Deadly Than Peanuts"--headline, Australian, Aug. 11
Oh, How
It Made Us Laugh
"Cottage Cheese Recalled Over Funny Taste"--headline, KATU-TV Web site (Portland,
Ore.), Aug. 10
Bad
News for Bat Parents
"Northern Va. Rehabilitator Tends to Orphan Bats, Battles Myths"--headline,
WTOP-FM Web site (Washington), Aug. 13
How
Come 'B'Desh' Isn't in the D'nary?
"B'desh Cancels Hospital Leave to Combat Disease"--headline, R'ters, Aug. 13
Breaking
News From 1965
"Astronauts Prepare for First Spacewalk"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 11
News You Can Use
- "Top Military Secrets Easily Accessible on Internet"--headline, WTTG-TV
Web site (Washington), Aug. 11
- "Your Cheatin' Heart Could Be Foiled by E-ZPass"--headline, Associated
Press, Aug. 12
- "Whinge on the Web if You Feel Let Down"--headline, Financial
Times, Aug. 10
- "Rules on Women Unclear"--headline, Stars and Stripes, Aug. 13
Bottom Stories of the Day
- "I Am Not Lord Lucan, Man Tells NZ Press"--headline, News.com.au,
Aug. 9
- "Romney's Niece Involved in 'Fender Bender,' Law Firm Says"--headline, Boston
Globe, Aug. 11
- "Trooper Didn't Lock Workers In at Mansion"--headline, Tennessean
(Nashville), Aug. 11
- "Dancevic Ranks 67th on ATP Tour"--headline, CBC.ca,
Aug. 13
- "New Orleans Politician Faces Graft Charges: Report"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 12
Better
Fred Than Dead
Now this is what we call serious, hard-hitting journalism. Monica Hesse writes
in the Washington Post:
In the swampy soup of hopefuls for the 2008 presidential election, there is a man with a funny name. (No, not that one.)
We're thinking of the one named Fred (Thompson).
Say it out loud. Do it. Fred. Fred. In the South, Fray-ud.
Fur-red-duh.
It has the tonal quality of something being dropped on the floor, something heavy and damp-ish.
Waterlogged paper towel.
Fred.
The phonetics of the name seem integral to its image problem: On Urbandictionary.com, a "Fred" is defined as "a person who does stupid, annoying, or idiotic things" (Fred Flintstone, Fred Mertz). The best-case descriptors a Fred can hope for are terms like well-intentioned, predictable, benign (Fred Rogers).
Say, Monica, did you happen to look up your own name on UrbanDictionary.com?
(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Michael Segal, Israel Pickholtz, Mark Davies, Rod Pennington, Charlie Gaylord, Steve Klein, Steve Brown, John Williamson, Brent Silver, Mark Van Der Molen, Thomas Dillon, Chris Perkins, Maudie Mandeville, Mark Taylor, Bryan Fischer, Bipasa Nadon, Andrew Koenig, Leonard Albin, Joel McLemore, Jeff Stephens, Stewart Seman, Don Hubschman, David Englet, John Forsberg, Shawn Pavlik, James Blakey, Kevin Hisel, Ray Hendel, Kyle Kyllan, Alan Jones, Wayne Murphy, Daniel Foty, Don Stewart, Joe Hancock, Graham Storey, Gerry McCracken and Matthew Noonan. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)
Today on OpinionJournal:
- Paul Gigot: Karl Rove on his decision to resign, his "myth," and the GOP's chances in 2008.
- Ann Marlowe: Don't believe the naysayers. Afghanistan is doing as well as anyone has a right to expect.
- John Fund: Congress tries to pull a fast one on earmark reform.
- The Journal Editorial Report: A transcript of the weekend's program on FOX News Channel.
