by JAMES TARANTO
Friday, December 30, 2005 3:46 P.M. EST

Cease-Fire's Greetings--II
Last week we noted that a compromise had been struck whereby Sunday was Christmas and Monday was a "holiday." Turns out they've done the same with New Year's Day. We didn't realize New Year's was politically incorrect, but we guess it makes sense, seeing as how the Jan. 1 New Year excludes the Chinese, Jews and Muslims, among others. Anyway, the upshot is we get to sleep in Monday and won't do another column till Tuesday.

Cock-a-Doodle-Doo
The chickens are coming home to roost on West 43rd Street, Reuters reports from Washington:

The U.S. Justice Department is investigating who disclosed a secret domestic eavesdropping operation approved by President George W. Bush after the September 11 attacks, officials said on Friday.

"We are opening an investigation into the unauthorised disclosure of classified materials related to the NSA," an official said on condition of anonymity.

Earlier this month, Bush acknowledged the program and called its disclosure to The New York Times "a shameful act." He said he presumed the Justice Department would investigate who leaked the National Security Agency eavesdropping operation to the newspaper.

The Times, as we noted in February, has of late been a strong proponent of such investigations. When Joe Wilson charged that someone in the administration had "leaked" the name of his wife, CIA analyst Valerie Plame, who he falsely implied was a covert agent, the Times urged the appointment of a special prosecutor to investigate what it called an "abuse of power."

The Times got its wish, and more than it bargained for. The paper somehow expected prosecutors not to compel testimony from the recipients of the "leak," the beneficiaries of the purported "abuse of power"--that is, journalists. But it's hard to see how you can investigate a crime (or, in the case of the Plame kerfuffle, a "crime") that consists of giving information to journalists, without questioning journalists.

One of the Times' own reporters, Judith Miller, went to jail rather than reveal her source. No, scratch that. She went to jail, spent three months there, then revealed her source. As Mickey Kaus noted in October:

The message sent to every prosecutor in the country is "Don't believe journalists who say they will never testify. A bit of hard time and they just might find a reason to change their minds. Judy Miller did."

If we were James Risen or Erich Lichtblau, who broke the NSA story for the Times, we'd be nervous.

But Who'll Probe the Leak-Probe Leakers?
"The officials, who requested anonymity because of the sensitivity of the probe, said the inquiry will focus on disclosures to The New York Times about warrantless surveillance conducted by the National Security Agency since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks."--Associated Press, Dec. 30

From the Mouths of Babes
"The Washington couple at the heart of the CIA leak investigation had their cover blown by their small son as they tried to sneak away on vacation on Thursday," Reuters reports from Houston:

"My daddy's famous, my mommy's a secret spy," declared the 5-year-old of his parents, former diplomat Joe Wilson and retired CIA operative Valerie Plame. . . .

They said they were headed to an undisclosed vacation location with their twins but stopped for a brief interview inside the airport terminal.

Where do you suppose this little boy got the idea that "daddy's famous" and "mommy's a secret spy"? We'd bet a thousand bucks it was from his orotund old man. The folks at the New York Times must be getting more irritated every day at the way Wilson managed to snooker them.

Oh No, More Leaks!
"Bush Gives Up Secrets of the War"--headline, Sydney Morning Herald, Dec. 30

Farris Hassan's Day Off
The Associated Press reports on the amazing story of Farris Hassan, a 16-year-old Florida boy "who traveled to Iraq on his own without telling his parents":

Hassan, a junior at Pine Crest School, a prep academy of about 700 students in Fort Lauderdale, recently studied immersion journalism--a writer who lives the life of his subject in order to better understand it.

The teenager, whose parents were born in Iraq but have lived in the United States for about 35 years, says he wanted to travel to Baghdad to better understand what Iraqis are living through.

"I thought I'd go the extra mile for that, or rather, a few thousand miles," he told AP in an interview earlier this week.

Skipping a week of school, he left the country on Dec. 11, telling only two high school friends of his plans. His travels took him to Kuwait and Lebanon before he arrived in Iraq on Christmas Day. He left without telling his family and sent an e-mail after his departure. . . .

The teen traveled to Kuwait, where a taxi dropped him in the desert at the Iraq border, but he could not cross there because of tightened security ahead of the Iraqi parliamentary elections on Dec. 15. He went to Beirut, Lebanon, to stay with family friends, and flew from there to Baghdad.

In Baghdad, despite his Middle Eastern looks, he found that he was out of his element. He presented himself at the Associated Press bureau, which contacted the U.S. Embassy on his behalf. The AP quotes an essay he wrote, apparently before going to Iraq:

There is a struggle in Iraq between good and evil, between those striving for freedom and liberty and those striving for death and destruction. You are aware of the heinous acts of the terrorists: Women and children massacred, innocent aid workers decapitated, indiscriminate murder. You are also aware of the heroic aspirations of the Iraqi people: liberty, democracy, security, normality. Those terrorists are not human but pure evil. For their goals to be thwarted, decent individuals must answer justice's call for help. . . . So I will.

Wow, we can't help but admire this kid. We wish we were as gutsy at our age, let alone his age.

And in answer to the inevitable questions: No, we don't have kids of our own, and yes, if we did, we're sure our reaction to this story would be more mature.

Has-Beens Who Never Were
"Would-Be Suicide Bombers Blown Up in Afghanistan"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29

'I'm Not a Guy'
The New York Times reports on Louisiana's Gov. Kathleen Blanco, whose halting performance during Hurricane Katrina drew bad reviews, and who is now "working to repair a wounded reputation--her own":

"People can't stop comparing her to Rudy Giuliani," said State Representative Troy M. Hebert, a Democrat from Jeanerette. "When 9/11 came, he looked like he was doing something. I'm not sure he was. But he looked like it." . . .

In an interview at the white-pillared governor's mansion, built by Huey P. Long in the 1930's, Ms. Blanco dismissed some of the criticism against her as sexist. "I'm not a guy," she said. "I can't be Rudy, whatever that is."

So according to Blanco, only a "guy" can look tough and decisive? Who exactly is sexist here?

'Chutzpah,' the Alternative Definition
"Rep. Barney Frank sees an 'angry, divisive' fight ahead for Massachusetts if a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage reaches the 2008 state ballot," the Associated Press reports from Washington (ellipsis in original):

The congressman blamed backers of the initiative petition for trying to provoke a new fight despite a lack of controversy over same-sex marriage.

"Basically, they're the disturbers of the civic peace," the Democrat said in a wide-ranging Associated Press interview Thursday. "We now have social peace in Massachusetts. They're the ones who want to stir it up. . . . This is a non-issue in Massachusetts."

If it's a "nonissue," why did the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court rule on it? And aren't the real "disturbers of the civic peace" the four justices who claimed, straining all credulity, that the Massachusetts Constitution, ratified in 1780, imposed same-sex marriage, an idea that was barely comprehensible in 1980?

Chutzpah has been defined as killing one's parents and then pleading for mercy as an orphan. Looks like marriage isn't the only thing Frank wants to redefine.

What He Really Wanted Was a Bicycle
"Brit Jew Marries Dolphin; Unusual wedding: British woman marries her beloved dolphin in Eilat ceremony"--headline and subheadline, YnetNews.com, Dec. 29

What's the Sound of One Spouse Hugging?
"Poll: First Lady Embraced, President Not"--headline, CNN.com, Dec. 30

How Would We Raise the Debt Limit Without Experts?

"More Snow on the Way, Say Experts"--headline, Scotsman, Dec. 29

"Snow Urges Congress to Raise Debt Limit"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29

What Would Guppies Do Without Studies?
"Study: Guppies Have Menopause, Too"--headline, LiveScience.com, Dec. 29

Studying Always Made Us More Depressed
"One in 10 Teens Depressed: Study"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29

If It's Invisible, Why Do They Have to Lift It?
"Scientists Lift Malaria's Invisible Cloak"--headline, United Press International, Dec. 29

Literally and Virtually!
" '[The rise in real estate values] has literally turned your house into an A.T.M. in the last couple of years,' said Carl Steidtmann, chief economist at Deloitte Research. 'That will virtually go away.' "--New York Times, Dec. 29

Open and Shut
"Meeting on Open Meetings Is Closed"--headline, (Tucson) Arizona Daily Star, Dec. 29

Our question is, if they held a meeting on whether meetings on open meetings had to be open, would it be open or closed?

He Must Wish He'd Chosen a Different Line of Work
"Pentagon to Kill F-35 Back-Up Engine-Consultant"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 29

Don't Worry, They'll Meet Their Waterloo
"Viking Women Destroy Upper Iowa"--headline, Argus Leader (Sioux Falls, S.D.), Dec. 29

He Shouldn't Have Tried to Kick That Football
"Charlie Brown's Last Hours Were Violent"--headline, Post-Standard (Syracuse, N.Y.), Dec. 30

Bottom Story of the Day
"Lynndie England Burned in Prison Kitchen; Soldier jailed for Abu Ghraib abuse suffered grease burn"--headline and subheadline, MSNBC.com, Dec. 30

This Coffee Tastes Like . . .
Reuters reports on what purports to be the latest coffee craze:

Would you pay $175 for a pound of coffee beans which had passed through the backside of a furry mammal in Indonesia? . . .

Kopi Luwak beans from Indonesia are rare and expensive, thanks to a unique taste and aroma enhanced by the digestive system of palm civets, nocturnal tree-climbing creatures about the size of a large house cat. . . .

Despite being carnivorous, civets eat ripe coffee cherries for treats. The coffee beans, which are found inside of the cherries, remain intact after passing through the animal.

Civet droppings are found on the forest floor near coffee plantations. Once carefully cleaned and roasted, the beans are sold to specialty buyers. . . . So far, most of the orders have been from California.

Actually, The Wall Street Journal (link for subscribers) had this story way back in March 1999, even using the same groaner of a pun in the headline ("Good to the Last Dropping"). We must say, we're surprised this is still going on almost seven years later. Back then, we thought it was just a passing fad.

To Our Washington-Area Readers
We'll be on "The Julian Tepper Show" New Year's Eve discussing 2005 in review with the eponymous host. Tune in between 8:30 and 9:30 to WTNT, 570 AM.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Jim Trager, C.E. Dobkin, William Katz, Royal Dellinger, M. Gilbertson, Thomas Brueckner, Brian Crouch, Ethel Fenig, Samuel Walker, Dan O'Shea, John Hartness, Charlie Gaylord, Susan Dempsey, Matthew Noonan, David Drucker, Andy Hefty, Benny Barrow, John Forsberg, Ann Johnson, Mark Murray, Todd Myers, Michael Segal, Rod Pennington, Lee Walus, Marc Whinston, James Meyer, Phil Hord, Jim Miller, Steve Biddle, Arnold Nelson, Brendan Schulman, Brad Frese, Steve Checkosky, Constance Broski, Kevin Patrick and Mingwei Guan. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

Today on OpinionJournal:

• Review & Outlook: Will the "Rodney Dangerfield economy" finally get some respect in 2006?
• Abdurrahman Wahid: Muslims and non-Muslims must unite to defeat the Wahhabi ideology.

And on the Taste page:

• Review & Outlook: Why would Americans want Uncle Sam to control what they eat?
• Tony & Tacky: Satanic Swedes' sartorial statement.
• Eric Gibson: "Antiquities Gotcha" threatens some of the world's best museums.
• Charlotte Hays: The Ford Foundation offers college a blather subsidy.
• Dave Shiflett: Is Radio Frequency Identification a tool of the Antichrist?