by JAMES TARANTO
Thursday, October 20, 2005 3:05 P.M. EDT

Adding Insult to Injury
Harriet Miers's Senate questionnaire isn't exactly getting rave reviews from the men who'll pass judgment on her Supreme Court nomination. As the San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Miers flunked her first test before the Senate Judiciary Committee by providing "incomplete" and "inadequate" responses to her questionnaire, committee Chairman Arlen Specter, R-Pa., and ranking Democratic Sen. Patrick Leahy said Wednesday.

Known for her meticulousness and near obsessive attention to detail, Miers, for example, gave one-word answers to two-part questions, Leahy said, adding that some senators were "insulted" by her answers.

Let this be a lesson: If you find yourself having to fill out one of these questionnaires, never begin an answer with "Listen up, baldy!"

Specter, a Republican supporter of judicially mandated abortion on demand, also "said he was shocked by reports," originally from our John Fund, that two sitting judges had guaranteed conservative Christians that Miers would vote to overturn Roe v. Wade. Said Specter: "It sounds like you're buying a washing machine." Well, except that the spin cycle usually works on a new washing machine.

Robert Novak reports that "George W. Bush's agents have convinced conservative Republican senators who were heartsick over his nomination of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court that they must support her to save his presidency." It sounds to us as though the "agents" have strong-armed Republican senators into saying, for now, that they'll support Miers or keep an open mind. With 2 1/2 weeks to go until the scheduled start of hearings, not to mention the hearings themselves, there's plenty of time for heartsickness to recur. Thus far, the more information that had come out about Miers, the more people are inclined to oppose her nomination--including people like us, who initially gave it the benefit of the doubt.

The Miers debacle is beginning to remind us of New Coke--a product introduced in an effort to expand market share, which instead infuriated loyal customers. If Bush wants to "save his presidency," the way to do so is clear: withdraw the Miers nomination and reintroduce Court Classic.

Homer Nods
President Andrew Jackson replaced John Marshall with Roger Taney on the U.S. Supreme Court. Richard Nixon did not replace Marshall with William Rehnquist, as we stated in an item yesterday (since corrected).

Also, some readers wondered why we didn't mention John Kerry* in yesterday's column. We guess we just think Kerry is kind of old hat at this point.

Remember the Maine! To Hell With Spain!
"A judge has issued an international arrest warrant for three U.S. soldiers whose tank fired on a Baghdad hotel during the Iraq war, killing a Spanish journalist," the Associated Press reports form Madrid:

Judge Santiago Pedraz issued the warrant for Sgt. Shawn Gibson, Capt. Philip Wolford and Lt. Col. Philip de Camp, all from the U.S. 3rd Infantry, which is based in Fort Stewart, Ga.

Jose Couso, who worked for the Spanish television network Telecinco, died April 8, 2003, after a U.S. army tank crew fired a shell on Hotel Palestine in Baghdad where many journalists were staying to cover the war. . . .

[The judge] said he issued the arrest order because of a lack of judicial cooperation from the United States regarding the case.

The warrant "is the only effective measure to ensure the presence of the suspects in the case being handled by Spanish justice, given the lack of judicial cooperation by U.S. authorities," the judge said in the warrant.

This is outrageous conduct on the part of a so-called ally--an "ally," recall, that cut and ran from Iraq after terrorists blew up a pair of Madrid trains.

Nobody Here but Us Dromedaries
Egypt is denying reports, which we noted yesterday, that it plans to build a fence to keep terrorists out of Sharm al-Sheikh, a resort town, Ha'aretz reports:

Residents and one security official, who declined to be named, said on Tuesday the authorities were building a security fence to extend 20 kilometers around parts of the tourist town, which is one Egypt's busiest resorts.

But Mustafa Afifi, governor of south Sinai, said authorities were building concrete walls no more than 80 centimeters high near junctions to stop camels straying on to the road and causing accidents, the official MENA news agency said.

It reminds us of one of the Yasser Arafat** excuses for smuggling weapons from Iran: "My camel ate the manifest."

** The haughty, French-looking Massa--oh wait, sorry, force of habit. Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994 and is in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital.

The Self-Righteous Brothers
Kedwards have lost that loving feeling. In an interview with Teagan Goddard's Political Wire, John Edwards plunges a dagger into the heart of his erstwhile running mate:

Q: What was the biggest lesson you learned running for president in 2004?

Edwards: First of all, it was an honor to be able to run for president and to meet so many wonderful people from all over the country. What became more and more clear to me as I traveled around the country is that the American people want strength in their leaders and I believe that strength comes from conviction. I firmly believe that we need to stand up for what we believe in and we shouldn't try to nuance our way through the political landscape.

John Edwards evaded military service and voted in favor of liberating Iraq, so if John Kerry*** wants to strike back, here's a line he might use:

I will not have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq.

How do you like them nuances, pretty boy?

*** Fop cit.

Life Imitates 'Star Trek'

"The chemical formula for transparent aluminum plays a key role in the plot of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home [1986]. In the movie, the formula is traded for Plexiglas sheets thick enough to create water tanks suitable for transporting two humpback whales through time, from the 20th century to the 23rd century, inside a Klingon Bird of Prey. Since the crew was temporarily stranded in the past without money appropriate to the period, they had to barter with the owner of the Plexicorp company (a fictional manufacturer of Plexiglas). Scotty trades the chemical formula for transparent aluminum for enough of the material to build the tanks."--Wikipedia.org

"A new type of transparent armor made of aluminum could one day replace glass in military vehicles. . . . 'The substance itself is light-years ahead of glass,' said 1st Lt. Joseph La Monica, who heads the research."--LiveScience, Oct. 18, 2005

The Gods Are Angry!
A Hurricane Katrina retrospective in the Washington Post contains this curious observation: "When Katrina blew in and levees gave way, the high water, in many neighborhoods, was colorblind and classless." It would have been more interesting if the Post had given us an explanation of how the high water was not "colorblind and classless" in other neighborhoods. Maybe the water should be arrested for a hate crime?

Another example of anthropomorphizing nature appears in a Gainesville (Fla.) Sun editorial:

Our earth and its atmosphere seem to be reacting to something that doesn't agree with it.

The ground is fidgeting with earthquakes, and the atmosphere is flailing and thrashing with hurricanes and tornadoes.

Could it be a result of global warming that has been warned of so often, an idea resisted by many?

Anyone care to explain how "global warming" is supposed to cause earthquakes?

Reverse Lake Wobegon
"Michigan African-American fourth- and eighth-graders scored much worse in reading and math than African-American students in the United States as a whole, according to national test results released Wednesday," the Detroit Free Press reports.

Later in the same story, the Freep adds, "The good news is that the gap between black and white students' scores in math and reading within Michigan has decreased."

We'll agree it's bad news that black Michiganites are doing badly, but why is it good news that nonblack ones are losing ground even more rapidly?

This Doesn't Sound Like Something an Attorney Would Say
"Lashaun Harris told authorities that voices had told her to throw her children into the water, the [San Francisco] Chronicle reported. It was not immediately known whether she had an attorney."--Associated Press, Oct. 20

Wheat in Kansas, Couscous in Morocco
"Rice in Asia"--headline, Washington Times editorial, Oct. 20

What Would We Breathe Without Experts?
"Experts Agree Breathing Duck Waste Hazardous"--headline, St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, Oct. 19

Yeah, It Could, if Birds Had Hands
"Washing Hands Could Prevent Spread of Avian Flu"--headline, All Headline News, Oct. 19

Friends Don't Let Friends Dive Drunk
"Australian Study Finds Alcohol Linked to Croc Attacks"--headline, Associated Press, Oct. 19

Joke and Dagger Dept.--II
With New York's other senator, no matter how you slice it, it comes up daggers. Yesterday we noted a New York Sun editorial that listed eight uses by Sen. Chuck Schumer† of the "dagger" metaphor. Readers sent us more, and we forwarded some to our friends at the Sun, who produced another editorial today. (Curiously, it refers to someone who is "inestimable" and has the same name as your humble columnist.)

Here's a collection of Schumer "dagger" quotes from today's Sun editorial, along with enough to get the Sun at least through the week:

• " I have sat with people who lived by the American dream. They saved their $25 a week for five or ten years, a subway motorman or a clerk in a supermarket. We told them ''play by the rules,' and finally that great day came when they could have their little piece of the rock, a home. And in swoops a predatory lender, and two years later, they have no money, no home, no dreams. That is a dagger in the heart, not only of that family, but to all of us who believe in the American dream for everybody."--testifying before the House Banking Committee, May 24, 2000
  
  
• "Until this proposal [McCain-Feingold] becomes law, organized crime, drug lords, and other various bottom crawlers in society unknown to any of us could influence the political process by contributing money and running ads that we all know are, for all practical purposes, political ads. To have no disclosure, let alone no limits, on these kinds of activities puts a dagger in the heart of democracy. Sunlight is the disinfectant we need. Sunlight is the disinfectant provided by this provision."--on the Senate floor, June 28, 2000
  
  
• "Mr. President, let me make it clear that without the Schumer amendment this [bankruptcy] bill does not help women. It would be the leading dagger in keeping a woman's right to choose."--on the Senate floor, Dec. 5, 2000
  
  
• "You may recall that nearly 20 years ago, another president proposed eliminating this [federal income tax] deduction [for state and local taxes]. Well, let me tell you straight out, even though it would have repercussions across the nation, this is a dagger aimed right at the heart of New York."--Schumer press release, Jan. 19, 2005 (link in Word form)
  
  
• "Overall as bad as having, say, that person on the bench is, it would have been worse to have the nuclear option, which would have really just brought the Senate to a grinding halt and been a dagger really right at the heart of what this republic is all about."--on "NewsHour With Jim Lehrer," May 24, 2005
  
  
• "Schumer, New York's senior senator . . ., heralded [Tom] Daschle's efforts [to kill the Federal Marriage Amendment], saying that he not only defeated the amendment but 'put a dagger through its heart.' "--Gay City News, June 16, 2005
  
  
• "Democratic Senators who had defended [Dick] Durbin [who likened U.S. servicemen to Nazis] immediately attacked [Karl] Rove [for saying Dems were soft on terror]. Senator Schumer raced to the microphones to proclaim that Rove's remarks were "not only a slap at New York and all those who suffered. It's a dagger to the heart of what America is all about."--blogger Jack Mercer, June 24, 2005

† A dagger of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Michael Segal, Christopher Desmond, William Longwell, Harrison Colter, Pat Allen, Dennis Kennedy, Joseph Joyce, Russell DePalma, Dayl Pearson, Richard Ridgway, John McNulty, Eric van der Walde, Bob Cantor, Matthew Franck, Eugene Sullivan, Joe Kirby, Keith Burgess-Jackson, Daniel Foty, J. Stricker, Doug Levene, Ethel Fenig, Michael Egan, Nathan Wirtschafter, Clark Ghitis, Ruth Papazian, William Delwiche, Donald Nelligan, Chad Borders, R. Mermelstein, Christian Hamaker, Bill Kicak, Robert Woolley, Tim Bowden, Dana Nottingham, Paul Dyck, Jarrett Ludeman, Bob McMillan, C.E. Dobkin, Eric Smith, Tim Knauer, Christopher Cornell, Mark Finkelstein, Bill Hart, Boze Herrington, Dennis Johnson and Robert Paci. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

Today on OpinionJournal:

• Review & Outlook: Suddenly there's momentum in Congress for spending restraint.
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