by JAMES TARANTO
Friday, April 1, 2005 3:34 P.M. EST

Note to readers from 2007: This isn't really a hoax issue. April Fool!

On the Sunni Side of the Street
The Associated Press brings this excellent news from Baghdad:

Influential Sunni scholars encouraged Iraqis to join the country's security forces and protect the country, issuing an edict Friday that departed sharply from earlier warnings against participating in the fledgling police and army. . . .

Friday's edict, endorsed by a group of 64 Sunni clerics and scholars, instructed enlistees to refrain from helping foreign troops against their own countrymen.

But Ahmed Abdul Ghafour al-Samarrai, a cleric in the influential Association of Muslim Scholars who read the edict during a sermon at a major Sunni mosque, said joining the Iraqi security forces was now necessary to prevent the country from falling into "the hands of those who have caused chaos, destruction and violated the sanctities."

If heeded, the announcement could strengthen Iraqi security forces, who are trying to take over the fight against the Sunni-led insurgency.

Don't forget, back in January the doomsayers were urging the postponement of Iraq's election for fear of Sunni nonparticipation leading to a civil war. Their streak of wrong predictions remains unbroken.

The Filibuster Party
This morning an e-mail popped into our box from John Kerry. The name sounded familiar, but we couldn't quite place it, so we went back and looked at some old columns. It turns out he's a haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way promised 61 days ago to release his military records. Apparently he served in Asia someplace, where he claimed to have committed war crimes.

Anyway, this Kerry chap, who according to some reports also is a member of the U.S. Senate, was writing to warn us about Republican plans to change Senate rules to abolish the filibuster for judicial appointments. This would mean that a minority of senators could no longer block a vote on a nominee. Judges would thus be confirmed by a simple majority vote of the Senate. Although this is the way it was done between 1789 and 2002, the Kerry e-mail says the move would "change the character of American democracy forever."

Here's more from the alarming e-mail:

Imagine a world in which every appointment to the federal judiciary is tightly controlled by an extreme element within one party. Imagine the kinds of judges that will sit on the federal bench--even on the Supreme Court--if George W. Bush never needs a single Democratic vote.

So the Democrats stand for the principle that the minority party in the Senate should have a veto over judicial nominations. The problem, of course, is that being the minority party, they cannot impose this principle unless they win the support of some "clear-headed Republicans," in Kerry's term. So the filibuster may soon be lost.

But there's no reason it has to be forever! If the Democrats won a majority in the Senate, they could restore the minority's right to filibuster. Democratic Senate candidates in 2006 could run on the promise to restore the filibuster, and, if that proves insufficient to win a majority, they could repeat it in 2008. Sooner or later, it's got to work.

Now, you might say, if they were the majority, they wouldn't need the right to filibuster. But this is a matter of principle! It's about the character of American democracy! Besides, it wouldn't be the first time politicians ran on a platform that was against their political interests. In 1994 one plank of Newt Gingrich's Contract With America was a constitutional amendment limiting the terms of congressmen.

True, the term-limits amendment didn't receive the two-thirds required for passage. But it won the support of a House majority (227-204) and the vast majority of Republican representatives (189-40). All the Democrats would need to restore the filibuster would be a majority vote, something that, once they won a Senate majority, they could do even if every Republican dissents.

The Dems might even tempt some Republicans into voting in favor of the filibuster by appealing to their partisan interest in having the ability to override the Democratic majority. The Democrats thus would serve their own high principles by taking advantage of Republican opportunism. And you just know the Republicans would be dumb enough to fall for it!

Berger, Plame-Broiled?
Sandy Berger, who served as Bill Clinton's national security adviser, has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor in connection with his "intentionally removing and destroying copies of a classified document about the Clinton administration's record on terrorism," the Washington Post reports:

Berger's plea agreement, which was described yesterday by his advisers and was confirmed by Justice Department officials, will have one of former president Bill Clinton's most influential advisers and one of the Democratic Party's leading foreign policy advisers in a federal court this afternoon.

The deal's terms make clear that Berger spoke falsely last summer in public claims that in 2003 he twice inadvertently walked off with copies of a classified document during visits to the National Archives, then later lost them.

Berger was reviewing the documents to prepare for his testimony before the Sept. 11 commission. For those who think the news media aren't biased, how many stories were published about this actual crime, versus about the "Valerie Plame scandal," which looks now to have been totally phony?

'Hanoi Jane': I'm Sorry (Sort Of)
"Jane Fonda regrets her visit to a North Vietnamese gun site in 1972, the actress and fitness guru said in an interview with CBS television show '60 Minutes' to be aired on Sunday," Reuters reports:

The actress defended her trip to Vietnam in 1972, which won her the nickname "Hanoi Jane." But she said her visit to a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun site used to shoot down U.S. pilots was a "betrayal" of the U.S. military.

"The image of Jane Fonda, Barbarella, Henry Fonda's daughter . . . sitting on an enemy aircraft gun was a betrayal," she said, calling the act, "The largest lapse of judgment that I can even imagine."

But she said she did not regret visiting Hanoi, or being photographed with American prisoners of war there.

This will probably be too little, too late for many of Fonda's detractors--but at least it's better than anything John Kerry has done.

Meanwhile, Agence France-Presse puts a distinctly Continental spin on the Fonda interview. Its report is titled "Jane Fonda Says She Procured Prostitutes for Sex Romps With Husband."

We Didn't Even Know She Served in Vietnam
"[Hillary] Clinton Supporters Gear Up Against 'Swift Boat' Tactics"--headline, New York Times, April 1

Zero-Tolerance Watch
A follow-up on a Monday item: McKay High School in Salem, Ore., has struck a deal with freshman Shea Riecke, who'd been told she couldn't use a photo of her Marine brother as part of an assignment showing McKay graduates at work. Portland's KATU-TV reports:

School district officials have approved the display of another picture of her brother that shows him holding a weapon, but has a focal point of a young Iraqi boy wearing a Marine t-shirt.

"It may be that the picture has a gun in it, but it is not the most prominent piece of that picture," explains Kay Baker, Superintendent for the Salem-Keizer School District.

Elsewhere in the Pacific Northwest, Washington state's Snohomish High School suspended senior Justin Patrick for wearing a T-shirt that said "SNOHOS," an abbreviation for "Snohomish" that appears on the schools own Web site (last item). The Seattle Times explains why:

School officials say "Snohos" contains a slang term for prostitutes and is derogatory toward women.

"As a woman, I am sure that you can appreciate our desire in Snohomish to maintain respect for all members of our community, especially our young women, and to not allow the abbreviated form of our school name to be used to reference them as 'ho's,' " said district spokeswoman Shannon Parthemer, in response to an e-mail query about the suspension.

Well, those are some pretty good points. Some will call Parthemer a hostage to political correctness, but we say she deserves hosannas for her efforts to make the Snohomish environment less hostile and more hospitable.

Throw the Book at Him
"An 18-year-old man was sentenced to 90 days in jail Wednesday for attacking his girlfriend after learning she planned to vote for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry last fall," the Associated Press reports from Fort Lauderdale, Fla.:

Steven Soper pleaded guilty to false imprisonment, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, battery and resisting arrest without violence. . . .

Soper is also required to complete a batterers' intervention program, undergo psychological and substance abuse evaluations and complete any recommended treatment, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

And the Democrats think he shouldn't lose his right to vote.

We Didn't Think It Possible to Be This Unlucky
"For the second time in a week, a woman was killed after being struck by passing cars while attempting to run across a busy Houston freeway."--Houston Chronicle, April 1

Wouldn't 'Tsk Tsk' Have Been More Appropriate?
"Teen Jailed After Violating Order ;akljdf ;alkdjf"--headline, Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader, April 1

What Would We Do Without Studies?
"L.A.-Area Tsunami Could Cause Massive Damage--Study"--headline, Reuters, March 31

What Would We Do Without Troopers?
"Troopers Say Paying Attention Behind the Wheel Can Save Lives"--headline, KTRE-TV Web site (Lufkin, Texas), March 31

What Would We Do Without Five Out of Five Researchers?
"Five Out of Five Researchers Agree: Earth's Solar System Special"--headline, Space.com, March 31

What Would Farmed Salmon Breed Without Studies?
"Study Says Farmed Salmon Breed Sea Lice"--headline, Associated Press, March 30

What Would Women Do Without Federal Agencies?
"Woman Is Informed by Federal Agency That She's Alive"--headline, Associated Press, March 29

Can't We Get Them Some Real Food?
"Pet-Food Drive to Help Low-Income Seniors"--headline, Arizona Republic, March 31

Other Than That, the Story Was Accurate
Here's a correction from yesterday's Los Angeles Times:

An article in Tuesday's California section about hazing at Cal State Chico mistakenly said that a pledge to a fraternity at nearby Butte Community College died of alcohol poisoning. He did not die but was hospitalized. The article also said Chico has a population of 35,000; according to the city, the population is 71,317. In addition, University President Paul Zingg was quoted saying the school would shut down its Greek system if problems with hazing did not abate. Zingg made his comments to a group of 850 students and others, and his remarks were quoted in the local media. He did not speak with The Times. Also, although the article characterized the school as being well-known for its basketball program, its winning baseball program may be best known outside campus.

An Unfitting Spokeswoman?
"Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin has been stripped of her title because pageant officials say she can stand," the Associated Press reports from Appleton:

Janeal Lee, who has muscular dystrophy and uses a scooter, was snapped by The Post-Crescent newspaper standing among her high school math students.

"I've been made to feel as if I can't represent the disabled citizens of Wisconsin because I'm not disabled enough," Lee said Thursday. . . .

Candidates for the crown have to "mostly be seen in the public using their wheelchairs or scooters," said Judy Hoit, Ms. Wheelchair America's treasurer.

"Otherwise you've got women who are in their wheelchairs all the time and they get offended if they see someone standing up. We can't have title holders out there walking when they're seen in the public."

We sympathize with Lee's plight, but we suppose we can also understand Hoit's point. You can't expect a group representing the wheelchair-bound to stand for this sort of thing.

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Today on OpinionJournal:

• Fred Iklé: Intelligence is worthless unless policy makers act on it.
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• The Journal Editorial Report: Tune in this weekend for a discussion of the "nuclear option" and U.N. corruption.

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• Review & Outlook: Some lists are for the dogs.
• Tony & Tacky: A bat flees Cuba. Plus a cop who doesn't accept speeding to a hospital.
• Eric Gibson: How the U.N. tries to save civilization.
• Martin Wooster: The Pew Center isn't benign, neutral or beyond partisan politics.
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