From the WSJ Opinion Archives

by JAMES TARANTO
Friday, November 26, 2004 1:29 P.M. EST

Cause Without a Rebel
Our gadfly in residence, Steven Platzer, is holding out hope for a left-wing renaissance, notwithstanding the demographic trends favoring conservatives that we noted Tuesday. He writes:

You argue that the growth of GOP-dominated exurban communities will make a mighty contribution to GOP-dominated politics in years to come because of all the cheery-faced kids who will grow up in them and vote Republican. What you fail to consider, however, is the possibility that growing up in such places, with their stress on conformism and intolerance of people who are different or who don't want to blindly "go along with the program," will have the opposite effect, that is to say, produce people tolerant of everything but the GOP.

After all, where do you think most of us '60s rebels grew up before we revolted, Moscow? And I don't mean Moscow, Idaho. We grew up in nice, genteel Republican suburbs and that alone predisposed us to rebellion! So don't be too quick to count your votes before they've hatched.

It strikes us that Platzer's description of exurban America as conformist and intolerant is a simple-minded caricature, but perhaps it's a useful one, in that it does reflect the way rebellious adolescents think. (We're pretty sure we used similar language when we were a teenager.)

Still, it seems misguided to expect adolescent rebellion to lead to political transformation. Not all adolescents rebel, after all; and among those who do, many express their rebellion in other than political form. Most important, most adolescents who rebel eventually outgrow it. The baby boomers are nowhere near as far left as the loudest among them were 35 years ago; this year's exit polls found that 45- to 59-year-old voters favored President Bush over John Kerry, 51% to 48%, exactly mirroring the nationwide totals.

It's true that the 1960s "counterculture" has had an enormous influence. In many important institutions--academia, entertainment, the mainstream news media--it is no longer a counterculture but the culture. But the one area in which it has been a total bust is electoral politics, at least on a national level. The first rumblings of the counterculture were followed, in 1968, by the election of Richard Nixon. Since then the GOP has become increasingly conservative, and it has also become the majority party. (Though it must also be said that the country's political center has moved significantly to the left on some social issues.)

With the possible exception of the post-Watergate election of 1974, it's impossible to think of an election that has provided a nationwide validation of the left-wing protest politics of the 1960s. Jimmy Carter has gravitated toward the moonbat left since his ejection from the White House, but in 1976 he ran as a born-again Baptist. Bill Clinton in some ways was a creature of the counterculture, but he was also a good ol' boy from Arkansas, and his politics were far from radical.

John Kerry cut his political teeth as an antiwar protester, but he soon realized that, even in ultraliberal Massachusetts, emphasizing his Vietnam service was a smarter tack than stressing his opposition to the war. In this year's campaign he went so far as to attack the president and vice president for not having served in Vietnam. Some of his erstwhile '60s comrades must have cringed at this descent into cheap jingoism.

Besides, the 1960s counterculture was the product of several historical peculiarities. For one thing, antiwar protests reflected a high degree of self-interest on the part of young men who didn't want to be drafted. And because of the recent successes and the obvious justice of the civil-rights movement, mass protest had a certain cachet that it lacks today, when left-wing demonstrations are showcases of impotence and degradation. Those who hold out hope for (or harbor fears of) a replay of the 1960s probably are selling short just how unusual were those times.

What's All This Fuss We Hear About the Shellfish Party?
In a series of items earlier this month (here, here and here), we highlighted a study by the Catalogue of Philanthropy that suggested taxpayers who live in "red" states are more generous in their charitable donations than their "blue" counterparts. Reader Leslie Lenkowski, a professor of philanthropic studies at Indiana University, isn't buying it:

Comforting as this analysis might be to red-state partisans, this index is so fraught with methodological problems that its conclusions should not be taken seriously.

To start with, its measure of giving is based on amounts reported by taxpayers who itemize deductions, who amount to only 30% of all households. So, this index is hardly a picture of "personal income given to charity by residents."

A second problem is that it compares ranks, not actual figures. So a state that ranks low in average income but high in average giving by itemizers winds up getting a high score on the generosity index, even though the amount of money actually given to charities by its residents could be quite small.

To show how this works in practice: Mississippi has one of the lowest average incomes of any state. Yet, if it had a relatively small number of high-dollar givers who itemize (like Jim Barksdale of Netscape), its ranking in terms of average giving would be high. And since the difference between the two rankings would be large, it winds up at the top of the generosity index.

Never mind.

The Ultimate Computer
The New York Post offers this report on one of Hollywood's great minds:

Somebody get Nicolas Cage's new wife, Alice, an American history book--and quick! Spies at the L.A. premiere of "National Treasure" last week said Alice, 20, seemed befuddled when someone talked to her about the Declaration of Independence. "She looked at them and said, 'What is the Declaration of Independence?' " our witness relates--an account confirmed by another attendee.

Cage, 40, quickly came to the rescue and said, "I'm sorry--please don't ask my wife any history questions." . . . Annett Wolff, Cage's representative, said: "I am sure Alice knows about the Declaration of Independence and they could not be more in love or happy."

How could someone almost old enough to drink not know what the Declaration of Independence is? It may be that Alice Cage is a product of California's public schools, at least one of which has declared the Declaration unconstitutional. Reuters picks up the story, originally reported by WorldNetDaily:

A California teacher has been barred by his school from giving students documents from American history that refer to God--including the Declaration of Independence.

Steven Williams, a fifth-grade teacher at Stevens Creek School in the San Francisco Bay area suburb of Cupertino, sued for discrimination on Monday, claiming he had been singled out for censorship by principal Patricia Vidmar because he is a Christian.

We suspect the case's denouement will be similar to those old "Star Trek" episodes in which the Enterprise crew defeats a power-mad computer by flummoxing it with a paradox. After all, the Constitution wouldn't exist without the Declaration of Independence. That means if the Declaration is unconstitutional, the Constitution must be too. But if the Constitution is unconstitutional, then how can anything be unconstitutional, including the Constitution? Can't you just see the smoke pouring from Principal Vidmar's ears?

A Bunny With a Pancake on Its Head
Announcing ApologiesAccepted.com, which styles itself the world's answer to SorryEverybody.com, featuring words of forgiveness from Bush-haters in Holland, Canada, South Korea, Australia and other countries. Somehow this crowd doesn't seem quite as pathetic as the SorryEverybody folks, though it may be that we judge foreigners by a lower standard. Actually, there's at least one dissenting photo, showing the top half of some guy's head with the following message beneath:

What actually makes Kerry so much better than Bush? We know about Bush now, and we know, what to expect. The majority of the American people has made their decision and I accept that. Without criticizing the people who voted for Bush. So, to me, this site looks like a bad loser site!

Ouch! A Canadian ankle-biter offers this "threat":

Kerry could have stopped at least this crazy murderous rampage that the U.S. is sowing, but Bin Laden will show Bush who's the best [sic] terrorist between them. Hope you guys are prepared.

Two others we liked were an illiterate communist and a bunny with a pancake on its head.

Rather Suspicious
Yesterday's New York Times published this letter to the editor from Kathleen Davidman of New York:

We will all mourn when Dan Rather steps down from the "CBS Evening News" in March. He has been the most exciting, informed anchor and reporter since the 1960's, when I first remember seeing him.

So very handsome and energetic, a bit Li'l Abnerlike, he seemed an obvious star from the beginning. His passionate coverage at the political conventions (I saw him roughed up at one) and his way of getting the news, sometimes visibly and humanly feeling it, were unique. . . .

I'll miss Mr. Rather's principled stands on issues like the eulogies for American service members killed in Iraq. That his popularity waned over the years shows, if we needed any directive, how poor taste has become dominant.

Well, we admire a good prank as much as anyone. Congratulations to Davidman for gulling the Times' editors into publishing such an implausible letter.

Life Imitates ScrappleFace

"(2004-11-03)--When John Forbes Kerry took the podium last night in a Boston hotel ballroom, many supporters expected him to heed the poet's call: 'Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage . . .' "--ScrappleFace.com, Oct. 28

"Kerry Won't Go Gently Into Good Night"--headline, FoxNews.com, Nov. 26

Isn't He Married?
"Bush Seeks Funds for Abstinence Education"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 26

This Just In
"Millions Celebrate Holiday Across U.S."--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 25

But America Has Scarfed Down a Lot of Turkeys
"Turkey Still Hasn't Stamped Out Torture"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 25

What About the Bodies?
"Confiscated Monkey Heads for Big Island Zoo"--headline, KITV Web site (Honolulu), Nov. 24

They Probably Don't Mind Waiting
"ER Delays Killing Heart Patients"--headline, Globe and Mail (Toronto), Nov. 26

She'd Probably Like a Delay
"Federal Grand Jury to Help in Sheriff's Wife's Murder"--headline, WTOP-AM Web site (Washington), Nov. 24

What Would We Do Without Groups?
"Children should be kept away from lewd content, group says"--subheadline, Tallahassee Democrat, Nov. 24

How Many Sentences?
From a USA Today profile of Kansas City Chiefs snapper Kendall Gammon:

Gammon has played in 202 consecutive games, longest active streak for a non-kicker. Green Bay quarterback Brett Favre has played in 201 in a row.

"That's probably one of the few times you're going to see Brett and I mentioned in the same sentence," Gammon says.

Arafat Pal to Attend AIDS Confab
"The Muslim religious official who was at [Yasser] Arafat's bedside when he died in Paris two weeks ago, announced that he has received an invitation to attend a conference on AIDS as a Palestinian representative," the Jerusalem Post reports:

Shiekh Taiseer Tamimi, director of the Muslim religious courts in the West Bank and Gaza Strip, said he would attend the Arab regional conference on AIDS scheduled to be held in Cairo from December 11-13.

Tamimi, who is not a physician, did not say why he had been chosen to represent the Palestinians at the conference, the first of its kind in the Arab world.

Meanwhile, Barry Shaw speculates at IsraelInsider.com that Arafat isn't really dead:

Did anyone see the body? Nooo! . . . Why are the French and the Palestinians so secretive? Simplement! Because he is still alive. Vive l'Arafat! . . .

Think about it. It was clear to the most simple Palestinian--even if not to European politicians--that Arafat's was never going to give up trying to destroy Israel, or bring them a nation state.

It took time, but they eventually persuaded him to retire to luxury and the loving arms of Suha, and to spend the rest of his mortal coil playing with his daughter.

The price: twenty two million [dollars] a year.

The plan: whisk him off to a military hospital in France, fake a death, shave his beard, have Suha buy him the latest casual clothes, and go sun himself on the Riviera.

According to our information, however, Arafat is in stable condition after dying in a Paris hospital.

The World's Smallest Violin
"Israeli troops forced a Palestinian man to play his violin in order to pass through a roadblock near the West Bank city of Nablus, human rights activists said Thursday," the Associated Press reports from Jerusalem:

An officer made the Palestinian man take out his violin and play for about two minutes as hundreds of other Palestinians waited behind him for their turn to pass, said Horit Herman-Peled, a volunteer for the Israeli rights group Machsom Watch, which monitors soldiers' conduct at the roadblocks. . . .

"It was a crowded day, there was lots of pressure," said Herman-Peled. "I was standing, trying to monitor, suddenly I saw a Palestinian playing his violin."

Herman-Peled complains that "the officer and the soldiers laughed as the Palestinian played the violin," and the Israeli Defense Forces have said the situation was "insensitively dealt with." But maybe these "human rights" types should stop bothering the Israelis and instead exhort the Palestinian Arabs to follow the fiddler's example. Their slogan could be "Violins, not violence."

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Anne Gilley, Chris Stetsko, Robert Koslover, Roger Congdon, Tom Linehan, Steve Tolle, Bob Batts, Sol Cranfill, Barak Moore, Karl Kuehn, Tim Rosnau, Samuel Walker, Ethel Fenig, Mara Gold, Michael Segal, Marion Dreyfus, Paul Giasante, Dan O'Shea, Brian Balint, Allen Mosak, John Kuszewski, Sean Colledge, Israel Pickholtz and Yitzchak Dorfman. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

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