by JAMES TARANTO
Wednesday, September 1, 2004 3:13 P.M. EDT

Line Noise
NEW YORK--The line to get into last night's Michael Reagan party at Manhattan's Gotham Hall ended on Sixth Avenue and snaked around West 36th Street to the erstwhile bank building's entrance on Broadway. Even though we hate waiting in lines, we decided to endure this one, for it seemed to be moving fairly quickly. We waited along with John Barnes, Karen Furey and Wally Olson, and some protesters treated us to a show.

A guy on a bicycle stood just off the Sixth Avenue curb, wearing a T-shirt that said "F--- Bush" (except there was an actual obscenity in place of the hyphens) and shouting slogans like "Billions for war, nothing for the poor." Now there's a policy we could get behind! But he probably meant this as a complaint, albeit (at least when it comes to the poor) an inaccurate one. Next to him stood a young lady with a sign that said "Privatizing water is not true security."

People in line heckled back the potty-shirted heckler, and he responded by repeatedly shouting, "You're scum! You're the slime of the earth!" A guy behind us observed, "I love hearing that from someone wearing a shirt like that." Suddenly a group of perhaps a dozen materialized, chanting and carrying a banner that read "Free John Hinckley." Their slogan: "F--- Reagan! Go home!" They moved down the avenue at a very fast pace and were gone as quickly as they arrived. Between their chant and the bicyclist's shirt, we really started to wonder how anyone can call President Bush inarticulate.

After awhile, a cop ordered Bicycle Boy and Water Privatization Girl to move along, but she came back as soon as the cop had left and said: "I apologize for those people who don't know how to talk like a human being." That was awfully gracious of her.

The whole scene was an apt microcosm of contemporary protest culture, what we've termed "global village idiots." These protesters have no unified message, apart from a generalized hatred; a quote on CNN.com the other day summed this up nicely:

Leslie Cagan, national coordinator for United for Peace and Justice, said the message revolves around the word "no."

"We are saying 'no' to the Bush agenda, 'no' to the war in Iraq, 'no' to the regime change by our government, 'no' to pre-emptive war, 'no' to the economic policies," Cagan said.

We suppose it's a backhanded homage to Nancy "Just Say No" Reagan, though Cagan pointedly did not list drugs among the things to which her people are saying "no." Along with the "no"-sayers are people promoting an endless variety of arcane single issues, like water privatization. (Did you have any idea this was an issue anywhere?)

Inside the party, we chatted about this with Larry Mone of the Manhattan Institute, who pointed out that Bush-hatred is not at the root of this phenomenon; rather, Bush is merely a convenient target of the generalized hatred--someone to say "no" to. But these people were protesting in the Clinton years and before, and doubtless they'll stay on the scene no matter who the president is next year.

Street protest is central to the mythology of the liberal-left in America, which romanticizes (rightly) the civil-rights marches of the early 1960s and (less rightly) the antiwar demonstrations of the late '60s and early '70s. In contrast, there's nothing like this on the right, except for the antiabortion movement and the occasional ad hoc protest, like the one in Florida against the Clinton administration's abduction and deportation of Elian Gonzalez.

The liberal media generally present these protests as if they're wholesome, all-American expressions of opinion, glossing over the reality that the protesters are a motley collection of extreme partisans, antieverything nihilists and single-issue fanatics. This allows liberal elites to imagine that their loathing of the president is a populist posture.

Yet although it would be unfair to characterize the protesters as representing the mainstream of the Democratic Party, the differences between the "respectable" liberal-left and the wacko protesters have become increasingly blurred. While we've been out on the town enjoying the parties of the right, National Review's Byron York has been bravely venturing into the fever swamps of the Angry Left. Yesterday he reported on "the 'Big Tent Extravaganza,' a gathering of musicians, actors, and comedians co-sponsored by Planned Parenthood and its affiliate, Planned Parenthood Republicans for Choice":

One featured performer, the comedian Lewis Black, had a message for GOP delegates who might hold other views.

"It is un-fu**ing-believable that since the time I was 15 we have been having to argue this sh**," Black said. "There comes a point where you say, f**k you, enough is enough. There is no argument. It's not your body, a**hole. Shut the f**k up."

Black's words summed up the uneasy division onstage at the Beacon. Every time a speaker at the "Big Tent Extravaganza" offered conciliatory words -- as when Sex in the City actress Cynthia Nixon said, "I am here today to applaud and thank and salute a brave and tenacious group of Republicans, Republicans for Choice" -- another speaker was considerably less welcoming. Shortly before Nixon spoke, for example, the lesbian comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer said of religious conservatives, "I support any religion that brings people up. Anything that brings people down, your ass is mine. That's f**king bullsh**." Westenhoefer also described her fundamentalist sister as "a whack-job Christian," and added that "Mormons are whack jobs, too." And she launched into an extended discussion of the actor Mel Gibson and his movie The Passion, saying, "He's a f**king a**hole."

Today York has a report on an appearance by former Enron adviser Paul Krugman:

Krugman says he believes the United States needs a "mega-Watergate" scandal to uncover a far-reaching right-wing conspiracy, going back forty years, to gain control of the U.S. government and roll back civil rights. . . . Krugman told the crowd that the president is simply a front man for larger and more sinister forces.

"We probably make a mistake when we place too much emphasis on Bush the individual," said Krugman, who received a standing ovation when he was introduced. "This really isn't about Bush. Bush is the guy that the movement found to take them over the top. But it didn't start with him, and it won't end with him. What's going on in this country is that a radical movement . . . that had been building for several decades, finally found their moment and their man in Bush."

Krugman described the conspiracy as "the coalition between the malefactors of great wealth and the religious right." He offered no further details about who, precisely, is in the conspiracy but said that "substantial chunks of the media are part of this same movement."

Krugman said he and other liberals had been "asleep" and unaware of the true dimensions of the danger during the years in which President Bill Clinton found himself facing a variety of scandal allegations. But Krugman said there is a "complete continuity" between today's politics and the "campaign of slander and innuendo" against Clinton. "There's complete continuity going back, really, I think--but this is my next book--you really need to go back to Goldwater. A lot of this has to do with civil rights, and the people who don't like them."

Such paranoid lunacy would be merely laughable did it not come from someone who has a twice-weekly op-ed slot at the once-respected New York Times. Krugman's moonbat ranting encapsulates the combination of rage and nostalgia that is at the heart of the Angry Left. They still think they're fighting for civil rights, a battle their predecessors won two generations ago. They long for another Vietnam; hence the endless insistence that Afghanistan and Iraq are "quagmires." And they fondly remember--and hope for a repetition of--Watergate. This time, they hope, such a scandal will do permanent damage to the GOP and conservatism.

In the 1970s, the left prevailed in persuading America to withdraw from Vietnam, albeit at the cost (which they rarely acknowledge) of subjecting millions of Vietnamese people to communist slavery, and Watergate enabled them to bring down a hated president--something they had been unable to do at the ballot box. For guys like Krugman, that is, the era of Vietnam and Watergate was a time of triumph. But for most Americans it was a low point in recent American history--and certainly not something we'd like to relive.

Dave Barry Imitates Us

"We wandered to the nearby Bowlmoor Lanes, where Rep. David Dreier was hosting a bash. But we decided to forgo the party, as there was a long line, and we don't think Ronald Reagan vanquished communism so that Americans could spend their time standing in line."--Best of the Web, Aug. 30

"I tried to get into a party hosted by Rep. David Dreier of California at a bowling alley in Greenwich Village, but they wouldn't let me in, so I can't say what went on in there. For all I know, Rep. Dreier had carnal relations with a llama. But that is pointless speculation, since, as I said, they refused to let me in, apparently because they don't care about Freedom of the Press, not to mention the welfare of innocent animals. I just hope this kind of thing doesn't happen again, because I would hate to have to engage in further pointless speculation, if you GOP party-planners catch my drift."--Dave Barry, Miami Herald, Aug. 31

'Arnold, I'll Be Back'
California's Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke at the convention last night, and he took an elegant shot at a certain haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the way served in Vietnam:

Let me tell you about the sacrifice and the commitment that I have seen firsthand. In one of the military hospitals I visited, I met a young guy who was in bad shape. He'd lost a leg, he had a hole through his stomach, and his shoulder had been shot through. And the list goes on and on and on.

I could tell that there was no way he could ever return to combat. But when I asked him, "When do you think you'll get out of the hospital?" He said, "Sir, in three weeks."

And do you know what he said to me then? He said he was going to get a new leg, and then he was going to get some therapy, and then he was going to go back to Iraq and fight alongside his buddies.

He said, "Arnold, I'll be back."

Who could miss the implied comparison to someone who left Vietnam after being awarded three Purple Hearts for wounds that didn't require hospitalization, and then rather than return, went to Washington to slander his "buddies" as war criminals? We're not naming names or anything, but you see what we mean.

Schwarzenegger also paid tribute to America's muscular economy:

There's another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people and faith in the U.S. economy. And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie-men.

The U.S. economy remains the envy of the world. We have the highest economic growth of any of the world's major industrialized nations. Don't you remember the pessimism of 20 years ago, when the critics said Japan and Germany are overtaking the U.S.? Ridiculous.

Now, they say that India and China are overtaking us. Don't you believe it. We may hit a few bumps, but America always moves ahead. That's what Americans do.

This didn't go over well with Robert Robb of the Arizona Republic, who offered this scolding under the hilariously self-indulgent headline "Arnold Wows Convention, Not Columnist":

And then there was the offensive, and also inevitable, reference to "girlie men," this time directed at "critics who are so pessimistic about our economy."

People who lack faith in the American economy may be mistaken. But that doesn't make them cowardly or effeminate. Someday, perhaps, Schwarzenegger will be able to deliver a compelling speech without relying on his movie career as a prop. When that happens, I'll consider unchecking my gaga.

As Mark Steyn noted after Schwarzenegger first introduced the term "girlie-men" into American political discourse, "I don't pretend to know all the ins and outs of this phrase, but it seems safe to say that one sure sign you are a girlie man is that when you're called one, you whine humourlessly about it."

The Recrimination Begins!
Two months before the election, Democrats are already arguing over why John Kerry lost. Campaign staff changes are in the offing in the wake of the damage from the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth's criticisms of Kerry's war and antiwar records, reports the New York Daily News:

Sen. John Kerry is angry at the way his campaign has botched the attacks from the Swift boat veterans and has ordered a staff shakeup that will put former Clinton aides in top positions.

"The candidate is furious," a longtime senior Kerry adviser told the Daily News. "He knows the campaign was wrong. He wanted to go after the Swift boat attacks, but his top aides said no."

Campaign sources stressed that no one is losing a job at this point, but instead "proven winners" like former Clinton aides Joe Lockhart and Joel Johnson are being brought in to try to regain momentum for Team Kerry.

But while the Daily News has Kerry angry at his staff for exercising too much restraint, a CNN report suggests more restraint is what he needs: "Several campaign officials and advisers say they recognize the need to have an 'adult' traveling with the candidate--as one put it, 'someone who can tell him to shut up, or change something if and when that is necessary' and quickly deal with other strategic issues from the road."

Blogger and Democratic weathervane Josh Marshall has harsh words for panicked Dems:

All I can say is, really, really, shut up and calm down.

Politically, this is one of the worst things about Democrats--and it has many sources. As a group they seem to have a great tendency toward becoming disheartened, turning on their candidate, doubting his strategy, doubting his advisors, and so forth. Unfortunately, the candidates and advisors have an equal tendency to be open to that kind of fretting. And with the media playing the handmaiden to the synergizing anxiety, the whole thing can become very demoralizing and damaging for campaigns.

We don't pretend to know the Democratic mind well enough to say if Marshall's analysis is right or wrong. But if it is right, are these the kind of people we want directing our country's defense against a mortal enemy?

What Would We Do Without Some?
"Some Say Kerry Brought Controversy on Himself"--headline, Hilltop (Howard University), Aug. 27

Say What?
"In Retreat, Bush Says U.S. Will Win War on Terrorism"--headline, New York Times, Sept. 1

You Don't Say 2004
"Undecided Voters Still Torn Between Bush, Kerry"--headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 31

Return to NORMLcy
"Democrats Rally 'Round Weed"--headline, Daily Progress (Charlottesville, Va.), Aug. 29

If He's So Smart, How Come He Got Caught?
"Smart Kidnapping Suspect Found Competent"--headline, CNN.com, Aug. 31

Not Too Brite--CLXII
"Three men were trampled to death in a rush to claim vouchers at the first IKEA furniture showroom in Saudi Arabia Wednesday," Reuters reports from Jeddah.

Oddly Enough!

(For an explanation of the "Not Too Brite" series, click here.)

Puppies Having Kittens
"People have flocked to a small village on the outskirts of Cambodia's capital after a man claimed that his ten-year-old pet dog has defied nature and the ancient tradition of her species reviling cats and given birth to a kitten," reports DPA, the German press agency:

Owner Te Huot told Deutsche Presse-Agentur that his dog, called Knou, gave birth to a grey tabby kitten after he was visited by a forest monk who claimed that the dog had mated with a tiger.

He said it was only the second time in the dog's life that she had given birth, and that the first time, five years earlier, she had produced normal canine puppies.

We'll bet the incident is seared--seared--into the monk's memory.

(Carol Muller helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Jonathan Howard, Arnold Nelson, Jerome Marcus, Henry Hanks, Doug Levene, Alan Ogletree, Michael Segal, Barak Moore, Charlie Gaylord, Edward Schulze, Jennifer Ray, Dennis Powell, Jonathan Brumfield, Bill Kling, Robert Hennessy, Clyde Middleton, Rod Pennington, Yehuda Hilewitz and Ethel Fenig. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

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