by JAMES TARANTO
Friday, September 26, 2003 3:34 P.M. EDT

The Last Refuge
Democrats spend an awful lot of time talking about patriotism. For a generation--since becoming the anti-Vietnam War party, really--Dems have been on the defensive on the topic. When a Republican criticizes a Democrat's position on a matter pertaining to national security or policies involving patriotic symbols, the Democrat usually protests: Stop questioning my patriotism! But we're hard-pressed to think of any example in which a Republican politician has actually called a Democrat unpatriotic.

On the theory that the best defense is a good offense, some Democrats have started pre-emptively wrapping themselves in the flag. Unlike Republicans, they actually do level charges of unpatriotism. Thus peevish peacenik Howard Dean: "John Ashcroft is not a patriot." And here he was at last night's debate (of which The Wall Street Journal was a co-sponsor):

The biggest issue in this campaign is the question of patriotism and democracy. I am tired of having John Ashcroft and Dick Cheney and Jerry Falwell and Rush Limbaugh lay a claim to patriotism and lay a claim to the American flag. That flag belongs to every single one of us. And I am tired of having our democracy hijacked by the right wing of this country.

Now first of all, Jerry Falwell? What century is Dean living in? We guess he's playing to the elderly vote, for Falwell hasn't been a major force in Republican politics since the early 1980s. In any case, he hardly fits as an example of someone "laying a claim to patriotism," seeing as how he was last seen two years ago suggesting that Sept. 11 was God's punishment for America.

As for Dean, let's stipulate that he is indeed a patriot and that he has every right to wrap himself in the flag. Is going around bragging about what a patriot he is, while impugning the patriotism of his opponents, really the best way of expressing his patriotism? Besides, whatever you may think of John Ashcroft, calling him unpatriotic is obviously and laughably false, like calling Howard Dean phlegmatic.

Also invoking patriotism last night was the new kid on the block, Gen. Wesley Clark:

If I am president, we are going to build on a new kind of American patriotism. We are going to reach out to people and bring them together based on a concept of public service and contribution to the public good, the protection of our liberties, the right to speak out.

Hmm, public service, public good, liberty, free expression: The elements of Clark's "new kind of patriotism" seem indistinguishable from the old kind. So what is Clark getting at? The New Republic's Peter Beinart argues that it's all an effort to obscure differences over policy:

Much of the Democratic base still doesn't take national security seriously. Sure, Democrats know that most Americans don't trust the party to keep them safe. But they deny that this distrust has anything to do with prevailing Democratic ideology. The party, they reassure themselves, merely needs a tougher image.

And so Democrats keep trying to find new, ever more Rambo-like personas to proclaim essentially the same message. First, there was John Kerry, whose Vietnam heroism supposedly inoculated him against GOP attacks, his incoherent Iraq position notwithstanding. Now, there is General Clark. Maybe Clark does indeed have a proactive, coherent national security message. But, with his Kerry-esque, have-it-both-ways position on Iraq, he certainly hasn't articulated that message on the stump. And many of the Democrats who cheered Clark's entrance into the race don't particularly care; for them, Clark's résumé is the message. Once again, the Democrats are trying to solve an ideological problem with a biographical solution. It didn't work for decorated World War II flying ace George McGovern; it didn't work for Vietnam triple-amputee Max Cleland. And it won't work next fall. The voters--shocking as it may seem--actually care what the parties believe.

And what do the Democrats believe? Well, last night Dean responded to a criticism from Dick Gephardt on Medicare by saying: "We need to remember that the enemy here is George Bush, not each other." Great patriot though Howard Dean may be, it strikes us as misguided for him to begin his "enemies list" not with Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein but with the president of the United States.

The Unpopularity Contest
"What would you say is your biggest shortcoming?" When an employer asks this question during a job interview, the safest way to answer is by offering self-flattery thinly disguised as self-criticism: "Well, sometimes I have a tendency to work too darn hard." Moderator Brian Williams asked a similar question in last night's debate: "What in office, as president, would be the least popular, most right thing you would do?" Most of the candidates shoveled vigorously:

• Bob Graham: " I would begin the process of rebuilding America's relationship with the world."
  
  
• John Kerry: "I intend to take the politics out of how we are going to guarantee that Social Security is sound into the future."
  
  
• John Edwards: "In this effort to protect ourselves and fight our war on terrorism, we cannot allow people like John Ashcroft to take away our rights, our freedom and our liberties."
  
  
• Carol Moseley Braun: "I would work to build community and civil society and fight the discrimination against women in daily life."

Way to go out on a limb there, guys! Only Dennis Kucinich gave a straight answer to the question:

Three things come to mind. First, I would take action to stop the federal death penalty.

Second, I would move to cut the Pentagon budget by 15 percent, which would in no way affect adversely our national defense, and put the money into child care.

Third, I would move to create a Department of Peace which would seek to make nonviolence an organizing principle in our society and to work with the nations of the world to make war itself archaic.

These ideas actually are unpopular--and with good reason. While there are respectable arguments against capital punishment, slashing defense during wartime and creating a Department of Peace are truly loopy ideas.

The most revealing answer, though, came from Joe Lieberman: "I'm going to prosecute the war against terrorism and win it even if it's unpopular, because that's where our future security rests." That Lieberman would think this an "unpopular" position just two years after Sept. 11 speaks volumes about his party.

That Must Be Some Bed!
Bob Graham on George W. Bush, from last night's debate: "He is literally in bed with pharmaceutical companies."

Great Orators of the Democratic Party

• "One man with courage makes a majority."--Andrew Jackson
  
  
• "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."--Franklin Roosevelt
  
  
• "The buck stops here."--Harry Truman
  
  
• "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."--John Kennedy
  
  
• "In the Bush administration, the foxes are guarding the foxes, and the middle-class hens are getting plucked. I want to make clear I said 'plucked.' "--Joe Lieberman

Man of the People
Erskine Bowles, who served as Bill Clinton's White House chief of staff, is running for the North Carolina Senate seat John Edwards is vacating. Bowles is a plausible candidate; he ran a credible campaign for the state's other seat last year, though he ended up losing to Elizabeth Dole, 54% to 45%. But this quote from an Associated Press story makes us wonder if he isn't a little out of touch:

"The three biggest issues will be jobs, jobs and jobs. Clearly, there are a lot of other big issues like national security and health care," Bowles said. "But people open up the paper every day with that fear that they will find that they are losing their jobs."

One of Bowles's advisers might want to take him aside and explain that this isn't how normal people learn they're losing their jobs.

The U.N. Cuts and Runs
Here's why the idea of turning over authority over postwar Iraq to the U.N. is insane: "The United Nations ordered a further pullout of staff from Iraq on Thursday," Reuters reports. "A U.N. spokeswoman in Baghdad said around a third of the 42 international staff remaining in the capital would leave over the next few days."

"There have been two attacks and we cannot go on like this," says the spokeswoman, Veronique Taveau. "But the U.N. is not pulling out of Iraq. We are committed to the work we are doing here."

But how "committed" is the U.N.? Not very, Reuters says: "U.N. sources said Secretary-General Kofi Annan's security aides had advocated a total withdrawal but Secretary of State Colin Powell expressed concern about the impact such a move would have on Iraq. The outcome was a compromise."

America's staying power may be in some doubt too, at least until the political season is over next November. About the U.N.'s fecklessness, however, there can be no doubt.

What Would We Do Without Editors?
"Saddam May Die of Cancer: Editor"--headline, Dawn (Pakistan), Sept. 26

Sting at Guantanamo?
"The Air Force translator charged with spying at the U.S. military's prison camp for terrorists was under investigation even before he arrived at Guantanamo Bay," the New York Daily News reports:

Senior Airman Ahmad al-Halabi, 24, who was born in Syria, had been under scrutiny since November 2002, apparently days before he began an assignment as a translator at the prison camp for some of the world's worst terrorists.

The Air Force Office of Special Investigations began investigating al-Halabi "based on reports of suspicious activity while he was stationed at Travis Air Force Base and while deployed to Kuwait and Guantanamo Bay," a search warrant filed with a California court states.

Meanwhile, USA Today reports that the investigation "now includes two new suspects":

Navy and Air Force investigators are closely watching a Navy cook and an airman who once were assigned to Camp Delta at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. Neither has been detained or charged, military officials said, but their activities raised suspicion among investigators in the wake of the recent arrests of a senior airman and an Army chaplain who had contact with detainees at the camp.

The Daily News says that "Air Force officials gave no explanation yesterday why al-Halabi was allowed to work at the high-security prison despite his suspicious activity." Perhaps it's a variation on the "flypaper" strategy: They sent him there and kept a close eye on him in hopes of finding other possible spies.

Stupidity Watch
NBA commissioner David Stern says accused rapist Kobe Bryant should continue to play for the Los Angeles Lakers while charges against him are pending. "We don't have a Patriot Act in the NBA," Stern tells the Los Angeles Times. "That means that you're innocent until proven guilty." The USA Patriot Act, of course, does not abolish the principle that a criminal suspect is presumed innocent, which is one of the fundamentals of Anglo-American law.

Humor Alert
The New Republic's anonymous "&c." blog comments on Arnold Schwarzenegger's op-ed in Wednesday's Wall Street Journal:

Schwarzenegger writes that, "[E]ven though some people say I still speak with a slight accent, I have reached the top of the acting profession." Some people??? Slight accent??? If this statement is in any way indicative of the kind of feedback Schwarzenegger gets from his advisers, it's quite possible that he's being kept even more out of touch with reality than fellow gubernatorial candidate Gallagher.

Uh, Mr. &c., we hate to break it to you, but Schwarzenegger was joking. For crying out loud, even Josh Marshall could probably figure that out.

Bad Advice
The Wall Street Journal (link requires subscription, but Reuters has a secondary story) reports that Enron Corp. has filed a legal complaint against six of its former banks and investment banks, in which the company, "which itself stands accused of financial chicanery," alleges that the banks gave it bad advice.

Meanwhile, the New York Times Web page announces that former Enron adviser Paul Krugman "is on vacation." Coincidence?

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining
"Ritter Still Successful After Death"--headline, FoxNews.com, Sept. 25

What Would Japan Do Without Other Experts?

"Astronomer Predicts Major Earthquake for Japan, Other Experts Express Doubts"--headline, Space.com, Sept. 15

"120 Hurt in Japan Earthquake Chaos"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Sept. 26

Get Lost! And Go Jump in a Lake!
"Jim Dreyer was lost at sea again Wednesday, missing somewhere among the 15-foot swells and the roaring wind and the blinding rain that pounded the eastern shore of Lake Michigan," the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports. Don't worry; Dreyer, a marathon swimmer, eventually turned up. But if he was lost at sea in a lake, he was really lost.

You Don't Say
"School Killers May Have Lethal Combination of Risk Factors"--headline, Minneapolis Star Tribune, Sept. 26

'A Violation of the University's Discrimination Policy'
Yesterday we noted that a group of students at Southern Methodist University had set up an "affirmative action bake sale" as a protest against racial discrimination. We hadn't seen the SMU's official statement on the "bake sale incident," which is hilarious enough to be worth quoting in its entirety:

Following is a clarification of an incident leading to media reports portraying the matter as an issue of free speech at SMU.

On September 23, University officials received complaints from several students, concerned that a bake sale had been set up outside the Student Center with different prices for baked goods based on race and gender. At the request of the concerned students, a University official visited the site and determined that a volatile situation had been created and that the event should end in the interest of student safety. The sponsoring group, the Young Conservatives of Texas, had received permission to set up a bake sale, but failed to inform University officials of the true purpose of the event.

SMU has a designated debate area on campus for students to set up tables with information on various political issues, available to all student organizations. It is a violation of the University's nondiscrimination policy to sell goods at different prices based on race, ethnicity, or gender; however, signage expressing political points of view is a matter of free speech consistent with University policy.

SMU has a long tradition of encouraging open debate and considers such dialogue central to its academic mission. An open forum on affirmative action had already been planned for October 8 at SMU, and the Young Conservatives of Texas will have an opportunity to express their point of view, along with other students. They will also have the opportunity to set up a table with signage in the designated campus debate area, but may not engage in discriminatory practices through the sale of goods priced according to race, ethnicity or gender.

Oh Rats!
Who says the French aren't good for anything? The Associated Press reports that researchers from the National Institute of Agricultural Research at Joy en Josas, France, have successfully cloned rats. Does the world really need more rats?

Oh well, at least they aren't cloning weasels.

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You--IV
By a 95-0 vote, the Senate yesterday approved a bill authorizing the Federal Trade Commission to move ahead with its "do not call" registry, which allows Americans to sign up to avoid calls from telemarketers. When President Bush signs the law, which the House had approved earlier yesterday, it will effectively overturn a decision by an Oklahoma federal judge, Lee West, that in setting up the registry, the FTC had exceeded its authority under existing law.

But not so fast. Another federal judge, Edward Nottingham of Denver, ruled yesterday that the registry is unconstitutional because it does not apply to charitable and political solicitations. The Washington Post reports:

By exempting charitable solicitations, the FTC "has imposed a content-based limitation on what the consumer may ban from his home . . . thereby entangling the government in deciding what speech consumers should hear."

This seems a strained interpretation of the First Amendment, since longstanding Supreme Court precedents make clear that commercial speech has less protection than other forms of expression. But even if Nottingham is right, there's a simple solution available to Congress: Allow customers to opt out of receiving commercial, political and charitable solicitations--or any combination thereof.

The Associated Press reports from Oklahoma City that Judge West's own phone "has not stopped ringing since he sided with telemarketers seeking to block a popular national do-not-call list":

West's home and office telephone numbers were posted on the Internet, and consumers angry with the ruling were encouraged to call. Calls by The Associated Press to West's home seeking comment were blocked by busy signals.

Ah, the First Amendment in action. Is this an example of the new patriotism?

(Elizabeth Crowley helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Doug Levene, Brian Cook, Robert Best, Cheryl Pedersen, Michael Segal, Jerome Marcus, Raghu Desikan, Barak Moore, S.E. Brenner, Jim Orheim, Russell Desch, A.J. Fletcher, Edward Schulze, C.E. Dobkin, Stu Gittelman, Phil Bowermaster, Anthony Jewell, Robert Woolley, Tom George, Glen Smith, Karl Romike, John Williamson, John Vecchione, David Schlosser, Thomas Brueckner, Edward Hildebrand, Barb Meier, Paul Dyck, Justin Taylor and Ed Graff. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

Today on OpinionJournal:

• Review & Outlook: What was Wesley Clark doing at a Republican fund-raiser? (Plus: Read Clark's speech.)
• Daniel Henninger on where to find good news from Iraq.
• John Fund: Who won California's debate? The lesser candidates.

And on the Taste page:

• Review & Outlook: Liberal law schools want to defy federal policy while taking federal money.
• Tony & Tacky: In New Jersey, a dead bear by the side of the road.
• Eric Gibson: No wall labels! But is it art?
• Dave Shiflett: The U.N.'s celebrity ambassadors capture the true spirit of the place.
• Jon Keller on Mary Baker Eddy's library for the betterment of humanity.